When Your Own Child Turns Against You: A Parent's Nightmare with CPS

Caught in a whirlwind of false accusations and school issues, this parent is grappling with how to handle their son's manipulative behavior and the unexpected involvement of CPS.

Hey MJ,

I'm reaching out because I'm completely at a loss. My son, a 16-year-old senior, has been attending virtual classes and instead of focusing on his studies, he spends his days playing games and watching YouTube on his school-issued laptop. When I learned from his teachers about his missing assignments, I decided to take action. I told him I would return the school laptop and that we would use a laptop with internet filters at home.

However, before I could return it, he sent an email to his school counselor falsely claiming that I hit him. I only discovered this email recently. In response, without informing me, the counselor gave the laptop back to my son while I was out. Now, Child Protective Services (CPS) is involved, alleging "imminent danger" in our home, citing unfounded claims of physical harm and psychological neglect. They've suggested parenting classes and counseling for me, but I refused to sign anything because these allegations are completely false. My son hasn't been disciplined physically in years, and I would never harm him.

With CPS planning another visit and my son continuing his gaming freely, I'm in a situation I never imagined. It's been a few days, and I'm struggling with trust and communication with my son. I don't know how to approach him or what to do next. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions on how to navigate this incredibly difficult situation?

Thank you for any guidance you can provide.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

In this challenging situation with your son and the involvement of CPS, it's crucial to navigate carefully and thoughtfully. Facing false accusations is distressing, but there are clear steps you can take to address this multifaceted issue.

First, it's essential to seek legal advice. A family law attorney or a legal aid service can provide guidance on how to handle the CPS investigation and protect your rights. They can help you understand the nuances of the law in such cases and offer a strategy for responding to the allegations.

While dealing with CPS, approach them with cooperation and openness. Their primary concern is the safety of your child, and showing your willingness to engage with their process is important. Keep detailed records of all interactions with them and any relevant documentation. This proactive approach demonstrates your commitment to resolving the issue and ensuring your son's well-being.

Simultaneously, it's imperative to open a channel of communication with your son. Despite the current breach of trust, try to understand the reasons behind his false accusations. Is there an underlying issue such as stress or emotional turmoil? A calm and honest conversation about his feelings and actions is crucial. This not only aids in addressing the immediate problem but also helps in rebuilding your relationship.

The school's role in this cannot be overlooked. Inform them of the entire situation, emphasizing your concerns about his misuse of the laptop and his academic performance. Collaborating with the school can lead to a more effective approach to manage his behavior and improve his engagement with studies.

Family counseling is another key step. It offers a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and concerns, facilitated by a professional. Counseling can be a powerful tool in mending your relationship and understanding each other's perspectives.

Lastly, don't forget to take care of yourself during this stressful period. Your mental and emotional

well-being is crucial. Seek support from friends, family, or support groups. They can offer the empathy and advice you need to navigate this situation.

Developing a comprehensive plan that includes managing your son's internet use, setting clear boundaries, and working towards rebuilding trust is essential. With a combination of legal guidance, open communication, and professional support, you can steer through this complex situation and work towards a resolution.

Kenbe la,

MJ

ABOUT "HEY, MJ"

In 2020, the "Badass Black Girl" book series author M.J. Fievre began receiving correspondence from a varied audience, including parents, young adults, and teens. Fievre, an established author and speaker, is known for her insightful engagement with themes relevant to these demographics. The communication, primarily through Facebook or the Badass Black Girl inbox, revolves around topics covered in her books and public talks. These interactions display a rich tapestry of experiences and viewpoints, highlighting the author's impact on her readers.

“Hey, MJ” is a platform created to foster a meaningful connection between M.J. Fievre and her readers. It offers a forum for open dialogue, personalized advice, and the sharing of collective experiences. The platform's effectiveness is rooted in Fievre's expertise as an author and speaker. Her work, particularly in the "Badass Black Girl" series, showcases her deep understanding of the challenges and triumphs faced by her audience. Her background as an educator and her commitment to empowering young voices further enhance her ability to offer relevant and empathetic responses.

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